Alexander Scott sent in this contribution

I have been reading some of your "MT Tales" the one of the 410 missing reminds me of a New WRAF driver we had posted to Brize Norton in 1970 she was a nice looking long haired blonde, big chested girl, cannot remember her name, and as usual who got the job of showing her around the section and the Station, The WO said to show her where the restroom was and the coffee/tea bar was. we went in to the rest room to a roar of wolf whistles, to which she up casted, the room went silent then Smithy pipes up and says don't flatter your self love its Scotty (me) we were whistling at. I'm sure that the response could be heard in the middle of the runway .any way I asked her if she wanted a coffee she said yes, I asked how do you like it, she replied the same as I like my men black and strong, 3 months later she was gone, had found her man and was pregnant.

The tale from a few weeks later, she brought a mini back into the section and said that it was not running right, she was told to fill in a defect form cannot remember the number and take it to MTSS which at Brize was over half a mile outside the station on the other side of the road. The duty Sargent told her how to get there, any way it was revealed later when she returned that she was not happy, and was telling the Sargent that the Flight Sargent at MTSS read the form, opened the bonnet, closed the bonnet, gave her the form back, and sent her on her way, when the duty Sargent read the form where it said nature of fault/defect she had written engine missing, the MTSS Flight had written in the action taken column, bonnet opened engine found .

I think one of the best laughs I ever had was during a black top operation in 1971 at Brize, snow had been forecast all day Friday Saturday and Sunday, so on the Friday I was told along with others that I was on black top stand by, so stayed sober all week end, and stayed in as well much to the annoyance of my wife we both being young AND NO SNOW, any way midnight Sunday the call came and out I went. it had been snowing hard for an hour, walked rather than take the car a MK1 Lotus Cortina, any way down at the section, I was told to take the lead vehicle because I knew the airfield due to (me driving 32 seater crew coach with Britania, Hercules, Belfasts and VC 10 crews from home to station and then from the opps room to the aircraft ) so we get the all clear to proceed to the Southern end of the runway and away we go. Now after about 4 hours a VC10 comes in to land, but 15 mins before it arrived and as we were pulling up behind the threshold the SCO arrives with his driver, Flight Sargent Smith From MTSS had drawn the duty straw. he called attention, promptly snapped to attention himself and at the same time saluting the SCO, and falling flat on his back on the ice still at the attention and the salute. none of us could keep our laugh in and neither could the SCO, who then offered his hand to the flight, he then told the flight that while working on blacktop formalities would be dropped as it was more important to have the runway clear than have a salute or risk loosing a blacktop crew but Flight was ribbed for months after, and cartoons went up in the rest room within minutes of it happening .

These were some of the more pleasurable and lighter moments of working at Brize in bad weather as on two occasions we had Sicards with frozen engines and TK ploughs with the same or Sicards with brushes of ice, this was a dirty cold job trying to get the ice from the brushes, till we had an idea to extend the heat nozzle with an aircraft heater tube and play it on the brushes to melt the ice.

Ted Angus sent in this incident

This piece of GSE was a "battery powered self propelled pedestrian operated mechanical handler" for Phantoms and other similar size aircraft. It was being loaded for loan from Bruggen to Wildenrath. They were really heavy as you can imagine, an absolute mass of lead acid batteries inside plus traction ballast. The crane and RL were station vehicles, as he lifted the bell gave a little tinkle ! but they had positioned everything wrong and as he continued it touched the side of the RL.

A snippet from Ron Mills

First to Cardington for kit out. I remember the Storeman issuing the kit, half did not fit due to my 6ft 5inch tall, and as skinny as a rake body- ha body- Charles Atlas I was not. I was told never mind son, it will shrink or you will put on weight.

Padgate for basic training, and was it basic, first time firing the old Lee Enfield nearly broke my collar bone, I soon learnt to pad my shirt with spare undies. got to the range again and the Cpl there said are you crippled, no I said but I bloody will be if I fire that damn thing again without padding. Two evenings peeling potato's and scrubbing pots. But enjoyed the grub the night cooks put up. I thought the Storeman might be right, I will put on weight. So volunteered for work in the cookhouse a couple of times, had a lot of fun. After that I would volunteer for just about anything, it really spoilt the Cpl's day

Ron Mills (Tiny to my mates ) 
ex SAC MTD/OP joined the RAF 1954 - discharge by purchase 1962.

Now living in Australia (since 1966)

It was at Seletar about 1958, I was Cpl i/c Night Shift when one of the RAF Malaya drivers came to the detail office window and said he had a bit of a problem and would I come and look at it and see if I could sort it for him. It appears that he had been on the early morning pick-up of the Zobits kids from Singapore .He had D.I' d his vehicle before he left and it had required some oil ,now, it was standard practice in these circumstances to put in the oil when you got back for the very good reason that it was dark when he left and nasty snakes had a habit of kipping in the oil store , which was unlit . We went to his vehicle, a Standard vanguard, and he told me that he had put in two gallon containers of engine oil but that the dipstick still showed below the full mark. I asked him where he had poured the oil and pointed to the oil filler pipe and asked him if he had put it in there. Oh No he said I could not get the top off ,I poured in there , where it says "oil level" and pointed to the oil bath air filter ! ! ! ! The engine was full of oil in the carb, combustion chambers and manifold. It was even beginning to drip from the tail pipe of the exhaust where the valves were overlapping open. I told him to put it u/s with engine over-filled with oil, but sad to say the Lads in MTSS were less than amused.

John Johnstone

A few tales sent in by Brenda Turner .......................

Great site....I am Brenda Turner, was Brenda Williams, Brenda Ellen (Nth Luffenham 1976 - 78), Brenda Louise (Cranwell 1978 - 1984)

I have seen Andy Bunston's name on the list... so an Andy Story... We had all been drinking home made wine... I think at Bill Shaw's house, all very pissed and drinking till late. Next morning we had a really big visit, Andy is driving two Lady something or others, anyway he's feeling very ill, so unable to stop the line up of cars, he says excuse me to the two Ladies in the back, takes off his hat and throws up while driving, putting the hat under the seat... true class!! 

Or, does anyone remember when the crew room at Cranwell was supposed to be haunted? two WRAF drivers had the crap scared out of them while on night shift... heard scratchy noises.... so the blokes take the mickey... next night shift the blokes all tear arse downstairs scared... heard noises.. so WO Thorougood asks me if I would see if I heard anything... OK says I.... could've heard noises I say.... next thing we're up on forklifts poking about the roof... Padre comes and says prayers (I kid you not) the crew all moved beds back downstairs... how brave!! 

Or yet another one...... While on exercise (Viking Warrior) in Denmark, I had to take an RVT across to Esberg.... parked up in the hotel, only to be dragged, pissed from a Danish nightclub because the Greenpeace people had painted ban the bomb slogans all over it in pink paint and were trying to push it into Esberg harbour... had to drive through Denmark and down to Gutersloh with a pink RVT.... girl power !!
I thought the MTO was going to have a fit when I pulled into Gutersloh MT......

Dear Bill and Ian,
I would like you to put another story on drivers tales for me please.
my name is John Claxton ,I was an MTD from 1975 till 1984, during this time I drank many a NAAFI dry, smoked 30 a day and fought anyone that got in my way. I'm not proud of this but it happened. when I finally applied to purchase my discharge, the MT W/O told me there was an 18 month waiting list and it would cost me £700. I still applied anyway. when s h q got my application they called me up for an interview , I was told if I had £230 in the bank I could clear and leave now. I said I didn't have it, they said don't worry we will take it out of what we owe you. They sent me for a career interview that day, the Education Officer said what are you going to do in Civvy Street?. I said I am going to be a Gynaecologist [I can't even spell it] she said that's unusual, why? I said I have been working with ****s for 9 years I might as well carry on. I was told to clear and leave the camp. In other words I was a bad lad. I became a long distance lorry driver, and hated it. Living in a cab with no rate ones wasn't for me. I got into double glazing, started my own business in 1987 am now getting on ok. I met a good woman who managed to get me under control .I gave up smoking in 1994 gave up drinking [totally]in1997 and became a born again Christian in 2002 ,was baptised last October, and stood up and gave my Testimony on Saturday morning in a Swaffam church to local businessmen. Two of these men came up to me afterwards and said that they would have to change there ways. I felt very pleased that I have helped someone instead of hurting someone. This was a good feeling ,and now I would like to help you. if you have problems in your life and want someone to speak to, someone who knows where you are coming from ,give me a call , don't forget I've been there . Phone me on my mobile or text me and I will call you back ****** ******* no catch, no cost.

John Claxton

Colin Rippon

Hi Guys

I have just found your site and was reading John Claxton's story of when MT had a HUGE punch up with about 50 rock apes in the Mally Club bar at RAF Laarbruch. I remember it well, as I was Miss Mally on duty that night. What a night, all the bar staff were terrified and I hadn't worked there myself for long. I do remember getting a big bunch of flowers from the WO MT on the Monday morning to say sorry, and I still have the leather purse PJ brought me back from his Bavarian holiday!!!

Best wishes

Jenny Harrower, Jenny Smith as was.

Cliff Lowe sent this in,

Everybody must have their own memory of square bashing (or the first eight weeks) we were all issued with  pint china mugs , so my memory was standing 'by my bed' when the Cpl drill instructor did a check, his question to me "there is a brown stain down the bottom so it's not fit to drink from, is it airman?", "no Cpl" " right, tap it on the wall.  "NO!! from here", he shouted (about 25 feet away), a new mug cost me 2/6 from the Naafi.............................Read on here, there's more funny tales from Cliff

John Claxton